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The Amazing Spiderman 2 Review

I haven’t been a Spider-Man fan for a long time. Ever since Toby Maguire flicked his hair and did the infamous gothic shimmy, any notions of power, responsibility and general decency went with it. A character we weren’t meant to take that seriously, somehow became even less so for us. I’ve since tried to avoid the recent reset, and I feel I don’t have enough grasp on Spider-Man to tell anyone whether The Amazing Spider-Man 2: Rise of the Tomb Raider encapsulates everything he’s meant to be.

I also have trouble believing anyone to be a superhero who’s skinnier than me.

This is likely part of the whole reinvention. The actors are younger, the jokes are lamer, everyone has gel in their hair, and Spider-Man looks like a cosplayer. This is the pettiest gripe I’ve ever indulged, but if we’re to stomach Spidey shoulder-pressing a car with that amount of non-muscle – it plants cruel hopes in the mind of dreaming children that skinny guys can actually succeed.

I could continue with a complimentary plot summary. And I will, but from the blurb:

“It’s great to be Spider-Man. For Peter Parker, there’s no feeling quite like swinging between skyscrapers, embracing being the hero, and spending time with Gwen. But being Spider-Man comes at a price: only Spider-Man can protect his fellow New Yorkers from the formidable villains that threaten the city.”

You could blame the box-office copywriter for a severe absence of any creativity, and wonder how such people attained such jobs, or you could also realise there’s only so much you could do with a thousand-time premise like that. The filmmakers must have had the same idea and ran with it, ’cause The Amazing Spider-Man Too is so typically token.

Granted, I will yield to this version of Spider-Man being more…mercurial, for what that’s worth. He takes himself noticeably less seriously than Toby Maguire’s clumsy melodrama. I will also capitulate that Peter and his girlfriend’s…chemical reactions are rather endearing, and credulous of an actual romantic relationship.

But like a diabetic at a candy convention, I’ve still got things to complain about. I for one would like to see a superhero movie that only has one villain. I don’t know why everyone always insists on using at least two, it means not everyone gets their just dessert (unless you’re really skilled at movies and you’re The Dark Knight)

 Though the movie is titled, Rise of Elektra, and Peter Parker does indeed fight Jennifer Garner for the film’s majority, Harry Osborn shows up as Green Lantern post-final battle to action a plot event – one with a musk of contrivance in attempt to give the story, and consequently the next movie, immediate emotional importance.

This is technically a DVD review, but there isn’t even a behind-the-scenes. Consider that clairvoyance for the rest of it.

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